Hey man. Life's been... interesting lately. To say the least. College has really shaken things up, and I think a few pieces of me have shifted into places I don't want them to be. I'll list a few:
I've become a bit (sorry, good deal) more materialistic; the fast-paced-ness of A-Levels and having your top game being demanded from the get-go has made me forget about the bigger picture.
I think I'm a bit short-tempered, or, better worded, not as patient as I think I should be. I snapped at {sister} a few times this past week, and when {classmate} asked me a question in biology I (albeit jokingly) told her the answer was obvious if she just used what she has upstairs. I think I should have been a bit more put-together and tried to explain why the answer was what it was. I've been aching for an oppurtunity to show off my knowledge and put the hours of study into practical use, and I kinda blew this chance at it.
I don't have a routine outside of studying. I didn't feel like studying after school today, so I revisited KATSEYE's YouTube and watched a Mrwhosetheboss video. It wasn't one of those deathly 3-hour binges -- it was just about an hour -- but I don't want to reopen that can of worms. We've just about freed ourselves from the shackles of the algorithm.
I've lost a lot of iman. This is heavily related to point (i). I'm barely counting the rakahs right in prayers. That needs to get sorted.
AI. I don't know if I want it in my life, but I've been using it pretty pointlessly. I used fucking Pi, the "emotionally intelligent" AI to try and work around interacting with {sister}. Gemini as a tutor has been okay, but I also don't want to use that if I can help it. LLMs seem so powerful, but I can't find a good use for them unless I'm okay with a sloppy outcome (I'm not). They're good at glazing me; but even that can have ego-fuelling side effects i.e. possibly make me a bit of a narc.
The vision I had for AI was a kind of mentor. A good teacher can not only accelerate your learning, but steer it in the right direction and amplify it. AI is more like a servant, though. IDK if you can even call it AI yet; we haven't reached proper AGI and what we have is essentially natural language autocomplete with a bit more structure and sophistication.
I don't think it really has a use. Maybe in the odd case where I need something quick and fast, and am willing to accept slop. But, would that be a good need?
I do want some sort of way to expose myself to novel ideas and not become closed-minded or have some sort of cognitive bias that negatively affects my morals. I suppose the only way of doing that is well-spread reading. That can wait for another day, tbh.
I want some daily mindfulness (and, ideally, Islam-thing) can accumulate like Anki and study as into something that genuinely improves me. Somehow, some way. Someday? That seems like a common desire, so it should have a solution. Copypasta-ing this diary entry to Gemini won't solve anything, so don't even THINK about doing that.
Defining the problem well, doing the (Google) searching and reading, testing different solutions and overall making continuous effort is (probably?) the way to go about things. There is no shortcut, at least not a good one, that AI can slobber out for me.
I'm going to transcribe the notes I wrote at school into Anki cards, and then maybe think about this more. Might possibly revise membranes and transport, so I can write cards for it tomorrow.